Suspicisious Characters

Y'all, it's up! You can now check out my first podcast here. Now that it is up and going I hope to podcast a lot more. You can subscribe to my podcast on iTunes from the link or by searching Defeating the Comma. By doing this you will never miss one.

The first podcast is "Suspicious Characters". It is a short, funny story about how my eyes were opened to how we focus on our fear instead of God. I hope you enjoy it! For those of you that do not have iTunes I'm sharing the draft for this podcast.

The cops were called on us! Two of my friends, Jackie and Jennifer, and I had gone to a Tuesday night movie. When it was over, we were not ready to go home. There was plenty left to talk about still and we had not finished solving the world’s problems.

We decided to sit on the patio of a local fast food restaurant to finish our conversations. About an hour later a cop drives by really slow penetrating us with her looks. We thought it was odd, but just waved and smiled as she drove by. She pulls into the parking lot next to us and continues to keep a close eye out.

We did what all girls do when we have free time away from our husbands and kids, we continued to gab. A few minutes later we hear two employees in a panic.

“I told the police these people won’t leave! They are totally freaking me out!”

As I look around to see who the mischievous delinquents are I realize it’s us. We are the only ones there. The three of us with our Christian t-shirts, yoga pants, and our running-out-the-door hair are the cause of the cops and total terror of these two employees. I admit, I was not wearing make up and that can be scary. However, invoking enough fear that they called the cops seemed a little much.

It turns out they were closed and wanted us to leave. We had no idea. They never asked us to leave or mentioned they were closing. As a matter of fact, the conversation about them calling the police was the first we had heard anything from them.

Obviously, we left, but not without a good laugh! As funny as it was, I couldn’t believe that we intimidated anyone that much. I felt a little bad. We would have left immediately if we would have known. All they had to do was tell us they were closing and we needed to leave. Instead, they chose not to speak up and let their fear that we were there to harm them take over.

As I thought about this later I realized we all do this entirely to often. In times where we could quickly and simply call on our heavenly Father for help in a situation or ask Him to guide us we wait until we are desperate. We try to figure it out ourselves, handle the problem on our own, until fear is guiding us more than God. When we are finally desperate enough we call out to Him. More times than not, He brings swift peace and takes control.

You know, we are not that much different than Jesus’s first disciples. Luke 8:22-25 tells us the story of Jesus calming the storm. As a kid hearing this story I solely focused on the coolness that Jesus told the storm to be still and it did. That was enough to make it great. However, as I’ve gotten older and really look at the full story I see too much of myself in the disciples. I see the two employees from my story in the disciples. You will probably see yourself in them too.

At this point, the disciples have seen Jesus heal many, teach, forgive, and even raise a man from the dead. Jesus told the disciples to get in the boat and cross to the other side of the lake. He was tired and fell asleep. That’s when the storm came. It was bad and they did all the could to keep control of the boat and keep it from sinking, all while Jesus slept on the front even with all the waves crashing in on them. They are terrified! They forget that Jesus told them to go this way. They forget all the miracles they have already seen Him perform. They don’t even try to wake Him up to help until they are certain they are going to sink. Then they wake Him in a panic!

“Master, Master, we're going to drown!”

Jesus gets up, tells the wind and waves to be still, and they stop. All is calm. It was that easy! All they had to do was ask Him for help. If they would have done it at the beginning they would not have been full of fear.

It's easy to look at the disciples in this situation and think, DUH! They had seen Jesus do all these amazing things, but they let fear tell them He would let Himself and them drown. How could they be so naive? How could we be so judgemental studying them when we do the same so often.

We have seen as much or more of Jesus and all He can do than the disciples did. Yet we still wait to call on Him until the fear has taken over us. We tend to look at situations in our lives and let everything but God tells us what is going on. This is the kind of thinking that makes us fear three moms in their Christian t-shirts and yoga pants talking on a public patio on a Tuesday evening. This is what makes us wait until we are about to drown in the storm before asking Jesus for help.

This may not be your everyday response to things. I hope not. I hope that most of the time you are talking to God, asking Him for guidance and help even before the storms arise. I know we all have times that we fail at this. Sometimes it's because we have been too comfortable and forget God has been in control of our situations. That tends to make us complacent. Sometimes it's because we are blindsided by something so big we just start trying to shovel the water out of the boat first. It really doesn’t matter what the reason is. All that matters is when these commas, or storms, start to blow we call on Jesus. With big faith!

Don't Leave Me!

Hello all!

 I know there are a few of you that check my blog, but are not on social media to follow me there. I didn't want you to think I was MIA.

 I'm very excited to tell you I've recorded my first Podcast! It has taken my a while to get it uploaded. It went through yesterday after a week of trying. I'm now waiting on iTunes to approve it for subscription. They said it can take anywhere from 24 hours to 2 weeks. I'm hoping for closer to 24 hours. As soon as it is up I will post the link here.

Those of you that know me know talking is much easier than writing for me. I'm hoping that I can podcast quicker and more often than I can post a blog. I will still blog some. However, I am trying to prepare for my conference and meeting with publishers in July. So I need all my writing time to go to that.

In preparing for the publisher appointment and writing my book I do not want to leave all of you waiting. That is not fair. You are the reason I am writing this book in the first place. That is why I thought the podcast may be a good way for us to stay connected.  It should be easier for you too. You will be able to download it and listen anytime, anywhere!

The podcast may start out a little short and basic, but as I get the hang of it they will improve more and more. I've also got a friend who is willing to work on some special intro music for it! I can promise some laughs, awkward moments, and encouraging words on each of them. I may even do an interview once in a while. Please reach out with any thoughts, advice, or whatever.

Stay tuned!!!

Oysters and Heart Attacks

Oysters are a favorite in our house. My daughter, Sara Beth, and I love them with a little hot sauce! Some days, out of nowhere, she will say, “This day would be perfect if we just had a few oysters” and I have to agree. They scream “BEACH!” Our most cherished place.

They seem like such simple creatures and I guess they kind of are. But, oysters have a unique feature that makes them valuable and beautiful. They make pearls! The way they do this is amazing! There is a lesson in it for us.

When an oyster gets a grain of sand or any other debris inside its shell it starts to cover it with a substance called nacre, or mother-of-pearl. Nacre is the same substance that forms its shell. Layer by layer it continues to cover the invader forming the pearl. The oyster does not do this so we can have pretty necklaces and earrings. It does it for protection. As it covers this foreign object in its body it is guarding its organs, including the heart, from being irritated or injured.  Is that not the coolest thing?!

There is no reason to guard something unless it could be attacked. One type of comma we must defeat is a  spiritual heart attack. These can creep on us quickly and quietly. Maybe only giving you a twinge of discomfort, but if left unchecked they will completely breakdown the function of the heart. This will cause much more than a nuisance. It will cause great pain, frustration, sadness, and even anger or resentment.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverb 4:23

It is easy to look at this scripture and think all we have to do is isolate ourselves from sin. Ha! If it were only that easy! Often, I hear people use this verse to talk about what we should or should not watch on TV or listen to. Even who we should hang around. Yes, I do feel it is important as Christians to be selective with those things. However, even the most careful of us are going to be exposed to foul language, sexually inappropriate behaviors, and more.  

We are called to share the grace, mercy, love and sacrifice of Christ to anyone and everyone who do not know Him. This means going to them where they are. It doesn’t matter if it’s at work, school, the side of the road, in another country, or in a prison. We are to be there. We are to share.

If you are trying to reach a world of sinners to share the love of Christ you are going to encounter sin. Period.

We can still guard our hearts in those situations. We just need to be like an oyster. Covering debris, or sin, that gets in with the One who formed us through repentance, prayer, His Word, worship, and fellowship. This allows Him to protect us from heart attacks.

Do you feel like you have too much trash in there to cover right now? Then ask Him to help you start over. He will! It doesn’t matter if there is little or lots, all we have to do is ask Him and repent. Pray this scripture. Mean it! Believe it!

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

If you do not know God as your personal Lord and Savior, I pray that you will come to know Him soon. He is the only way to a healthy heart. If you want to know more about this please send me a message or find a trusted friend or pastor. I want you to know the grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love only God can give, that is the only way to truly cover up and protect from the sin that creeps into our lives. The result is even more beautiful than a pearl.

Let’s defeat the comma of spiritual heart attacks!

It's Super Woman! It's Super Mom! No, it's just me!

So much to do with no time to do it all!

  

All this in one day! ONE DAY!

I know you ladies feel me! We have so much on our plates and we keep adding more. We add to the list because we don’t know the n- word. What is it again? That’s right, NO! My hands can hardly type it. Or we may add to it because we feel like we have to. After all, every other woman we know or see on TV and social media is doing it all. 

There is the trap right there! Everyone else is doing it!

How many times were we asked growing up, or do we ask our own kids, “Just because everyone else jumped off a bridge would you?” You may be wondering why this question. It’s not like we are talking about making bad choices by following the crowd doing drugs or anything. Well, actually, it kind of is.

It is following the crowd by making poor choices for our unique callings as moms, wives, friends, women. It’s trying to do what we THINK every other woman is doing. Guess what ladies? We are not all the same. We are not all called to the same tasks.

Some of us are called to be moms; some are not. Some are called to be Pinterest Queens; some not so much.  Some of us are to be wives; some are not. Some of us lose weight easily; others do not. Some are called to work outside the home; some are not. Some of us are extremely organized; some not at all.

All of these things are good and it takes all of us to make this world go round.  But when we all try to fit into each other’s mold we all fail. We fail because we forget who we are uniquely created to be. We start to compare ourselves to others. We wonder how they can do it all and be it all when we feel like we can barely keep our head above the water. This causes us to lose our confidence and strength. This is a gut-wrenching, lonely place to be, yet so many of us are living it every day.

I say no more! Let’s leave this desperate place! Let’s remember who we are and whose we are! We are not called to be it all or do it all. We are called to be who we were created to be. It’s perfectly okay if that means we can’t be just like our sister, best friend, or mom. Actually, it’s even better! That means we can work together to accomplish the tasks we have been given.

Our confidence and worth should not come from this world and what we accomplish. It should come from God.

Ephesians 2:10 says, “ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Jesus Christ to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” His handiwork! I love that!

It makes me think of a builder. He spends time working out his plans for his creation. Then he skillfully sets out to form it into something more than a thought in his head and details on paper. When he finishes he looks at it proudly with hope of it fulling every purpose he intended it for, but NOT to be abused or used wrongly. He expects it to be cared for so that it lasts and is cherished by everyone.

That’s what we are to God. That’s how He intended us to see ourselves. That’s how he intended us to see others. That’s where our confidence should come from!

As women of God we should not be worried about being Super Woman or Super Mom. We should only be concerned with belonging to Super God!

He has carefully crafted us and prepared us for our individual purpose in His plan. So have confidence in Him. Only concern yourself with the tasks He has called YOU to today. Don’t worry if that looks different from others. Embrace it! Because then you know you are living the life God has planned for you. There is so much freedom in that!

Father God,

You are the Master Crafter! You have crafted me in love and care. You have made me special and unique for Your plans in my life. Lord, help me to seek Your will for me today and every day. Help me to see myself as You see me. Your handiwork! Help me to quit comparing myself to others and embrace the beauty I have because I am Your daughter. Open my eyes to other women I can help with their tasks because of our differences. Thank You for the confidence I have because I am Yours!

In Jesus holy name, Amen!

Stay Focused!!!!

Focus!!!!!!

I’m hollering this at my daughter as I type! She’s supposed to be in the shower, however she is practicing her leaps in the bathroom with the water running. As a matter of fact, I am constantly telling my kids to focus on something. If you are a parent, teacher, coach, or anyone else who spends time with kids, you share my pain in this.

If a child is not focused at school, their grades suffer or they get in trouble. Lack of focus in a sport causes them to not excel and could cause them to be injured or injure others. Most of the time at home it’s just an annoyance to us as parents, because it means they are not listening to us or following our commands.

Lack of focus causes a number of issues!

However, it’s not just kids that need the constant reminder to focus. It is also our spouses, friends, and even ourselves. As a matter of fact, it has taken me a lot more time than I want to admit to write this. Why? Because I can’t stay focused! I’ve been yelling, “FOCUS!” to myself as well.

There are different kinds of focus, too. There is focus on a task. Focus on what the real problem is. Focus on the good. Focus on the need. Lots and lots of different ways to focus!

Why is it such a problem for us to focus on these things? Because it means taking the attention off ourselves and putting it elsewhere. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, yet it so difficult for all of us. We all fall victim to it at some point simply because we are human. We drop our eyes from Christ and focus on our surroundings instead.

Take Martha for example. She kept her focus on her house and mad hospitality skills. All while her sister, Mary, was sitting at the feet of Jesus with her full attention on Him. When she got upset, Jesus used it to bring Martha’s focus back to Him. (Luke 10:38-42)

There is also King David who was briefly distracted by a pretty sight bathing and lost his focus. His attention turned from God’s calling to David’s desires. It lead to lying and death. God sent Nathan to show him his sin and help him turn his focus back to God. (2 Samuel 11-12)

What about Peter? He stepped out of a boat in the middle of the lake with strong winds and waves all around. He walked on the water towards Jesus until he lost focus. He was distracted by the wind and waves and took his eyes off Jesus out of fear. Jesus still reached out and brought Peter’s focus back to Him. (Matthew 14:22-33)

There are numerous stories like this in the Bible. But it is not just those people of long ago that lose focus on Jesus. We do it, too! We do it out of busyness, fear, complacency, worry, grief,  pretty shiny things, etc. When this happens we begin to sink like Peter. Hopefully it is brief, but it is never without consequences.

Martha’s was bitterness with her sister and losing valuable face time with Jesus.

David’s turned him into a murder and cost him the life of his first son.

Peter’s was almost drowning and, I imagine, great guilt when he realized his lack of faith in the moment.

The beautiful part of all of these stories is grace! In each instance God could choose to turn away. Instead He calls them out and gives them the chance to refocus on Him. He does the same for us! He gives us opportunities to repent and refocus!

After Jesus predicts His death a second time, Luke 9:51 says, “As the time approached for Him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem.” Some versions say, “set His face to go to Jerusalem.” In other words, He was focused! Jesus knew His calling. He set His face to it and didn’t get distracted by fear, pretty things, worry, grief, or even the easy way out. All of His attention was on the cross! Not on Himself or His immediate desires. His focus was on you!

Right after focusing on Jerusalem, Jesus shows us the cost to follow Him.  (Luke 9:57-62) A man says he will follow Jesus wherever He goes and Jesus reminds him He has no real home on this earth. He calls another man to follow Him who replies that he will as soon as he buries his father. Another ask to go say goodbye to his family first. But in verse 62 Jesus says, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Jesus shows us that to follow Him means focus! Focus on Him, on His task, on His love! It’s about our attention turning to God and building His kingdom instead of attention to self. It’s about keeping our eyes on Him so we stay on the task at hand.

If we are going to follow Jesus we must turn our faces to the cross just as He did!

Last Thursday night, we were all doing our task before bed and all 5 of us ended up in the kitchen. Justin’s task was loading the dish washer. Sara Beth’s was taking her medicine. Gavin and I were sorting laundry. Honestly, I can’t remember what Barry was supposed to be doing, maybe helping Justin.  Barry and I were talking about something and got so tickled. So much so he spewed the water he had just taken a sip of almost right on top of Justin! That got all of us, except Justin, laughing uncontrollably. It was a great family moment! You know the ones, where you are all laughing and taking turns saying silly things so you keep laughing until your belly hurts and you can hardly breathe.

Still, with all of this going on, Justin did not seem to realize we were even in the house. He didn’t laugh, look up, or even slow down working on those dishes. We all began to pick at him a little trying to get his attention and make him join in the fun. It just didn’t work.

I got a little frustrated that he was missing out on this laugh fest. So as soon as he finished the dishes I asked why he was ignoring us. He looked up bewildered.

 “I didn’t hear any of that going on. I’m sorry. I was just focused on getting the dishes finished.”

As I laid down for bed the whole story started running through my mind. I realized I want to be more like Justin. I want to be so focused on my task to share Christ that I do not even notice the other things around me. With my eyes on Jesus I want to take the attention off me and put it on others. Loving others and making disciples for Him!

I hope this is your desire, too. To stay focused on God! To stay focused on the cross! You may feel like you are sinking at some point, but remember, there is grace. Just refocus!

 As long as you keep your eyes on Jesus you can walk on water!

Let’s pray for each other to stay focused. Pray the distractions will not be seen or heard. If you see a friend that is distracted help them refocus. Show them the same grace and love God has shown you.

You've Got The Wrong Girl

I’ve had my spiritual “that shoe” sitting in my closet for some time now. Like about 3 years! Eek!!! I would put it on from time to time, but never wore it long. Truthfully, I really didn’t even put it all the way on. I would just put one foot in and tell myself that was good enough.

Failure!

I fought God and argued as if I were a top lawyer defending my case to the Supreme Court. I tried convincing Him there was absolutely, positively, no way on earth I could do what He was asking. I would then proceed to tell Him all the reasons this was just impossible. Yet, He kept overruling me.

God clearly showed me that He wanted me to speak and to write about Him. To tell what He has done for me and what He wants to do for many. I first told Him I would speak. After all, I talk a LOT! I could handle that. My condition was that I would just sit back and do nothing. If someone called and asked me to speak I would. I never dreamed that would really happen. But it did. So I promised Him I would continue to speak as long as someone asked.

That was not enough. He didn’t just call me to speak, He called me to write. This is where we really fought.

Those that know me know grammar is not my thing. AT ALL! I can’t even type to save my life!

(This is a good time to thank all of you grammar people for your patience when you read my blog. You must have the patience of Job. Thank you!)

Here is a story from a couple of years ago to prove how bad I am. I was waiting on my daughter to get out of gymnastics practice and took the time to have a phone chat with a dear woman of God. As a matter of fact, she was counselling me through this very thing. She gave me this amazing verse in Jeremiah 20:9, “His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”

This verse spoke so much to me that I had to share it with everyone on Facebook. So before we pulled out of the parking lot I typed it up and proudly posted it. I barely got a half a mile up the road when my phone started blowing up.

To my horror, I didn’t type the word “shut”. I had posted another 4 letter s-word in a Bible verse for all the world to see. My face must have been as red as a tomato as I tried to figure out how to fix it before anyone else saw it or screen shot it.

This became evidence in my defense against God’s calling. I pulled it out often. After all, someone who puts cuss words in scripture has no right to write for God. I had many other examples in my evidence pile. 

How was He not getting this? Why would He not declare this trail over, ruling in my favor?

After tiring from the fight I began to breakdown and listen as God brought his evidence to me. He did not disprove my evidence. Rather, He said I was right. He affirmed my failures, mistakes, and inadequacies.

Then He told me that is exactly why I’m qualified! God gets all the glory when I do something I cannot do in my own power!

My prayer has been for my life to bring glory to God. This is what He was offering me. He was answering my prayer. Yet, I was so scared and caught up in my weaknesses I could not see any of this.

When I gave in just a couple of months ago, He began to open doors for resources to help me everywhere I turned. One resource was the She Speaks Conference. It is for women who have felt called by God to lead, speak, and/or write. They offer training and great resources to help you.  God provided the funding for me and a friend to attend in just 3 weeks! Amazing!

Not only did He open doors, but He provided me with peace I have not felt since I first told Him, “no.” Through this acceptance I have drawn closer to God and found a new enthusiasm in Him and His Word. What an amazing feeling!

Spring has not only sprung up new life around me, but inside of me because of saying, “Yes, Lord!”

I have not shared this story for you to see just what is going on in my life. I have shared it so you can experience this peace and enthusiasm as well.

I know that there is someone reading this right now who has fought with God. Maybe you are fighting a calling like me. Maybe you are fighting reaching out to someone in love. Maybe you are fighting a conviction of sin God wants you to leave behind. Maybe you are not sure why you are fighting Him.

You feel like all your evidence is being dismissed. You don’t know what else to do. You just know you are worn out from the fight.

Say, “Yes, Lord.” to whatever it is. Tell Him you need His help. He will help you!

Remember that God’s power is made perfect in our weaknesses and His grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Also, whatever He asks of us He will empower us for it and carry it out to completion. (Hebrews 13:20-21; Philippians 1:6)

I want you to know this peace, this closeness, this enthusiasm! Yes, it can still be scary. You may still feel unworthy. That’s okay. It keeps you humble and focused on God and His strength. There is no greater calling than that!

So I am praying for you. I’m praying you say, “Yes, Lord.” I’m praying you stayed focused on Him. I’m praying you glorify Christ through your weaknesses. I hope you will pray for me as well.

The 5 Shoes: That Shoe

 Everyone has “that shoe” sitting on a pedestal in their closet. You know the one I’m talking about! It’s different for each of us. For some, it’s a nice athletic shoe. For others, it’s a pair of boots or a cute wedge. No matter what kind it is, all “that shoes” have the same characteristics. They go something like this…

You walk into the shoe department and there you see it! Everything disappears except for you and “that shoe”. It’s calling out to you.

 “Take me home! You need me!”

You pick it up and it’s like you are Cinderella. This is your glass slipper! It fits perfectly! You must take it home. You know it’s not what you are there for, but it’s destiny.

You get “that shoe” home and put it in just the right spot of the closet. You walk in each day and admire how beautiful it is. You think about that special moment in the store when it called to you and fit just right. But you don’t dare put it on. You want to, but you are afraid.

You fear you may mess it up if you wear it. After all, it’s been raining lately. Maybe you fear you can’t really pull off “that shoe” with the limited outfit choices you have. Or, maybe you simply don’t have the right occasion to wear them. It could even just be out of season right now.

You admire it sitting in your closet and vow to wear it when everything lines up just right. However, that day doesn’t come. Then one day you walk in and see “that shoe” and realize it’s too late. It doesn’t fit, it is out of style, or you can no longer wear that style anymore.

You could have been wearing “that shoe” that made you feel like a princess, but instead you let it waste away in your closet. All because you were scared of what would happen if you did.

We all have “that shoe” in our spiritual lives, too. It is your gift or your calling that God has given you. It was made specifically for you and only you. Just like Cinderella and her slipper, it will only fit you.

All too often we let it sit on the pedestal in our closet admiring it and wanting to put it on, but we are afraid. We are fearful that we are not worthy of it, we’ll mess it up, or maybe others will not like it or would do a better job. All the while it is sitting, being wasted, until it’s too late.

This is crazy! God doesn’t make mistakes and He gave you this gift, this calling.

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance to your faith; if it is serving, then serve, if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” Romans 12:6-8

These are a few examples of our possible gifts, and our callings are how we use these gifts. God may be calling you to serve in the nursery or He may be calling you to serve at your local homeless shelter. He may be asking you to start a Bible study or to move to a foreign country to teach and share His love. Maybe you should be encouraging a neighbor or maybe He wants you to write encouragements to local, state, or national leaders. The possibilities are endless.

I get that it could be out of your comfort zone. I know it is probably scary for you, even if it seems minor to others. It’s scary because it is not something we can do on our own. We don’t like to feel incapable of something. However, If God has called you, there is no need for fear. His power is made perfect in our weakness! (2 Corinthians 12:9) He will enable you to carry it out to completion.

Let’s all commit to start actually wearing our spiritual “that shoe”. Let’s quit just looking at it sitting there waiting for the conditions to be just right. Imagine the difference we can all make if we will all put them on! It may not be easy at first. We may have to wear them a little at a time to break them in. But we can and should put them on.

I’m working on the challenge of wearing “that shoe” myself. Next week I will share with you what it is for me and why I am terrified. I’m so thankful for the Lord’s patience with me it.