You've Got The Wrong Girl

I’ve had my spiritual “that shoe” sitting in my closet for some time now. Like about 3 years! Eek!!! I would put it on from time to time, but never wore it long. Truthfully, I really didn’t even put it all the way on. I would just put one foot in and tell myself that was good enough.

Failure!

I fought God and argued as if I were a top lawyer defending my case to the Supreme Court. I tried convincing Him there was absolutely, positively, no way on earth I could do what He was asking. I would then proceed to tell Him all the reasons this was just impossible. Yet, He kept overruling me.

God clearly showed me that He wanted me to speak and to write about Him. To tell what He has done for me and what He wants to do for many. I first told Him I would speak. After all, I talk a LOT! I could handle that. My condition was that I would just sit back and do nothing. If someone called and asked me to speak I would. I never dreamed that would really happen. But it did. So I promised Him I would continue to speak as long as someone asked.

That was not enough. He didn’t just call me to speak, He called me to write. This is where we really fought.

Those that know me know grammar is not my thing. AT ALL! I can’t even type to save my life!

(This is a good time to thank all of you grammar people for your patience when you read my blog. You must have the patience of Job. Thank you!)

Here is a story from a couple of years ago to prove how bad I am. I was waiting on my daughter to get out of gymnastics practice and took the time to have a phone chat with a dear woman of God. As a matter of fact, she was counselling me through this very thing. She gave me this amazing verse in Jeremiah 20:9, “His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”

This verse spoke so much to me that I had to share it with everyone on Facebook. So before we pulled out of the parking lot I typed it up and proudly posted it. I barely got a half a mile up the road when my phone started blowing up.

To my horror, I didn’t type the word “shut”. I had posted another 4 letter s-word in a Bible verse for all the world to see. My face must have been as red as a tomato as I tried to figure out how to fix it before anyone else saw it or screen shot it.

This became evidence in my defense against God’s calling. I pulled it out often. After all, someone who puts cuss words in scripture has no right to write for God. I had many other examples in my evidence pile. 

How was He not getting this? Why would He not declare this trail over, ruling in my favor?

After tiring from the fight I began to breakdown and listen as God brought his evidence to me. He did not disprove my evidence. Rather, He said I was right. He affirmed my failures, mistakes, and inadequacies.

Then He told me that is exactly why I’m qualified! God gets all the glory when I do something I cannot do in my own power!

My prayer has been for my life to bring glory to God. This is what He was offering me. He was answering my prayer. Yet, I was so scared and caught up in my weaknesses I could not see any of this.

When I gave in just a couple of months ago, He began to open doors for resources to help me everywhere I turned. One resource was the She Speaks Conference. It is for women who have felt called by God to lead, speak, and/or write. They offer training and great resources to help you.  God provided the funding for me and a friend to attend in just 3 weeks! Amazing!

Not only did He open doors, but He provided me with peace I have not felt since I first told Him, “no.” Through this acceptance I have drawn closer to God and found a new enthusiasm in Him and His Word. What an amazing feeling!

Spring has not only sprung up new life around me, but inside of me because of saying, “Yes, Lord!”

I have not shared this story for you to see just what is going on in my life. I have shared it so you can experience this peace and enthusiasm as well.

I know that there is someone reading this right now who has fought with God. Maybe you are fighting a calling like me. Maybe you are fighting reaching out to someone in love. Maybe you are fighting a conviction of sin God wants you to leave behind. Maybe you are not sure why you are fighting Him.

You feel like all your evidence is being dismissed. You don’t know what else to do. You just know you are worn out from the fight.

Say, “Yes, Lord.” to whatever it is. Tell Him you need His help. He will help you!

Remember that God’s power is made perfect in our weaknesses and His grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Also, whatever He asks of us He will empower us for it and carry it out to completion. (Hebrews 13:20-21; Philippians 1:6)

I want you to know this peace, this closeness, this enthusiasm! Yes, it can still be scary. You may still feel unworthy. That’s okay. It keeps you humble and focused on God and His strength. There is no greater calling than that!

So I am praying for you. I’m praying you say, “Yes, Lord.” I’m praying you stayed focused on Him. I’m praying you glorify Christ through your weaknesses. I hope you will pray for me as well.